Twist off Uber Alice

The fridge

I got a bunch of nice bottles of wine for X-mas and all of them have corks. IT"S 2010 NOT 1584.  All wine should come with a twist off cap or in a box!  Using a cork simply takes too long.  Yes I have opened wine bottles with my shoe (but I don't where shoes anymore) I've shoved the cork down using a pen and a book (but now use a e-reader and I can't risk breaking my pen, you know in casae I have to sign some autographs, lol) I'll make an exception for champagne but the person opening the bottle must promise to shoot the cork out across the room (preferably at someone who doesn't see it coming)  The cork is an outdated tradition that does not belong on modern drunkards  drinking vessel.  

Stone circle county Cork

Maybe I'm taking a little to far.  My family the "Sweeney's" are from the County of Cork in Ireland.  But really are they drinking wine?  If your gonna use a cork do it like the Bourbon companies do, twist off!

Only a drunk would drink alone.

The screaming monkey and I had a fun night.  His tolerance is little less than mine and I found him right where I left him the next morning.

Call me drunk, call me lazy just don't call me over to use your corkscrew.  

While on the subject all beer in the United States should be twist off as well.  In my younger years I can remember waking up the next morning after a lascivious evening and finding cuts on the palm of my hand in the shape of a bottle cap.  Pop top's are Okay for a country like Mexico who uses thicker gauge bottles that returned to the brewery and re filled but in the states where are bottles are taken to a recycling plant it makes no sense.  So unless to bottles are to be used again by a local brewery or are used for home-brewing (both perfectly good exceptions). 

 Down with the cork.